excuse the mess...

Why do we need ‘hiding’ places for our children’s toys?

Why do I want my guests to come into my house and say “wow, your place looks great!” ???

Since I have been home with my kids full-time I have been having a hard time following the rules of society and what is expected from a ‘stay at home mom’…. And I know this has ALL been said and written before but really!?!? this is what is EXPECTED from us …. Raising children, which includes; bathing them, feeding them, dressing them, changing diapers, playing with them, running after them, taking them out, teaching them, listening to them, doing their laundry, waking them, putting them to bed, reading to them, grooming them, comforting them, disciplining them….

What else are we expected to do??.... clean the house (which doesn’t sound that bad for a 1000 sqf home without carpeting, just sweep and Swiffer. But when you have two constantly shedding dogs it becomes a daily task), cook (well I don’t have that issue since my DJ/cook/mechanical & electrical technician does the cooking when he is here… but Graham has been on the road 3 out of 4 weeks of every month since November of last year so it has been myself and my dad cooking for the rest of us), take kids to doctor appointments, take kids to school/daycare, take dogs to groomers and vet appointments, shop for groceries, shop for household items…. so to sum things up, these are the ‘professions’ that I have to perfect while being a ‘stay at home mum’…

Nurse/doctor, maid, cook, teacher, vet, caregiver, …. and what I want to let everyone know is that I don’t mind it, I love it, I really want to be here for my kids …

What I forgot to add is caregiving for my mum… without getting into the dirty details of what happened, cause I am sure it will be a future blog, she contracted bacterial meningitis in 2009 and it since my parents live with us it is just a given that I take care for her when she is home, and not in rehab.

So, as it turns out I am at home for a reason. To care for my family. I am actively looking for a job that will subsidize our needs, daycare, mortgage, bills, and so on….. but that has not been easy.  I can’t make enough hours as an ESL teacher to make what I need and getting an admin position in a school is really by “contact” only… as most positions are… I think that I am pretty qualified to fill a ….. never mind, this is not about me and advertising what I am… this is about me taking care of my family and choosing, what I think, is the right thing to do….

This is why I want to express how I feel about the “home” environment that my kids are growing up in… and not doing the expected thing, of course I will always provide a warm, loving clean shelter for my kids but I really don`t feel the need to tidy their toys away at the end of the day… why would I want to put away the items that make my children think and feel and sing and dance and create! I want to see what makes them happy, I want to know what my kids love to do, I want to play with my kids, not get frustrated that they are making a mess right after I put things away because it was getting too messy….

If I spent all of my time worrying about making my home presentable for guests then I would not be spending that precious time with my kids, and being happy with them… and knowing that they love having me with them ….. I can do dishes or laundry or sweeping tomorrow!

“excuse the mess, we just wanted you to feel at home” …. I think I would rather have a plaque that reads “excuse the mess, children are making memories” ....